just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
