One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
not ubering you a puppy
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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