it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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