someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
