it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
