I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
