He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
