ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
