he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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