as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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