so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
false alarm, still single
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