Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
