We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
