I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
