Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
