i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
