you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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