at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
