I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
