Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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