it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
