No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
