they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
