i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
