i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
