And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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