After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
