New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
