real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
