kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
