I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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