He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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