I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
