let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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