Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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