so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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