Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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