If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
