can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
