All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
