my shit smells like andre
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
