Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dicks are not precious.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
