so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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