My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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