Whod you bang
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
