You work out of a Hotel?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just pee around me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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