So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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