Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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