So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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