I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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