THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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