and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
