so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
